With apologies to the city of Fargo.  I'm sorry if my friend's snoring kept you all up this weekend...

For the past year I don’t think one solid month has gone by where I haven’t heard the phrase, "So you’re going to Valley Con with us next year, right?" uttered in my ear by my friend Travis.  Well to paraphrase a book that is almost as good as the Geek Tragedy archives; "And Ed attended Valley Con, and saw that it was good."

Actually, it’s much better than merely good. It was fan-frickin’-tastic.

For those of you who didn’t, or have never attended Valley Con, allow me to give you the Cole’s notes (or if you’re American, the Cliff notes) version of the event. Valley Con is a three day Fantasy / sci-fi convention that is held each year in Fargo, North Dakota. This year, the guests included Kevin Sorbo (Hercules, Andromeda), Julie Benz (Buffy, and Angel), John Kassir (the freakin’ Crypt Keeper!), Erica Durance (Smallville), and David Pallfy (Stargate SG-1). And once the sun goes down, it is also one hellova party!

I’ve spent most of today trying to figure out how I should best structure this write up, and at this point the most effective method I’ve been able to come up with is random rambling…so here is goes.

-One of my favorite parts of any con I’ve ever attended have been the cos-players. I know I’ve said this before on the site, but folks who take the time and effort to make up these splendid bits of clothing art are, IMHO, one of the major forces behind what makes cons so damn great! And let me tell you, Valley Con had more than it’s fair share of amazing costumes.

-If the rest of America was wondering why there was such a shortage of sexy in the rest of the country, allow me to explain. It was being all used up by Fargo this weekend.

When I got home from the con there was an e-mail waiting for me from Leone, Geek Tragedy’s tyrant / editor, asking me about what Kevin Sorbo was like in person. Well, in one man’s strictly heterosexual opinion, that dude is just as , if not more, sexy in person as he is on TV. And he is also much freakin’ taller than I thought he would be!

Honestly though, while all the guest were great (my buddy Steve was particularly star struck by John "The Crypt Keeper" Kassir), as a rabid Buffy fan I have to admit that being able to put my arm around Julie Benz was too cool for words. It’s a shame I can’t pose for a pic worth a damn though, cause I’d love to show you the pic of her and I.

 -My personal highlight of the con: Meeting, and talking comics with Zach Miller (the creative force behind the crazy popular webcomic "Joe and Monkey"), and Taki Soma (who kicks my artistic ass, and will, mark my words, be a major name in comics in the very near future!). I easily could’ve spent the entire day hangin’ out at their booth at the con if I hadn’t been so worried about scaring off the other folks who wanted to chat with them.

I learned more about webcomics from talking to Zach in a few hours than I have from actually creating them for the past few months. Plus it was nice to just be able to shoot the shit about web comics with someone who doesn’t get that glassy eyed "would you please stop talking to me about this" stare after five minutes of my rambling. Zach is one of those rare individuals that have a sense of humor that bends off in such a unique way that it makes you stop and go "how in God’s name did he ever think of that?" If you’ve never seen Zach’s comic then I suggest you head on over there ASAP. If I had to describe his work I say it was like "Calvin and Hobbes" meets "Far Side".

And Taki…well let me put it this way; She has a pic of Green Lantern on her damn cell phone, draws comics, and likes Buffy, Angel, and Firefly. Basically, she’s the perfect woman. Plus she did a sketch of Green Lantern for me at the con, and had some amazing charcoal prints and original work up for sale that kicked ass.

Just don’t let her mix your drinks for you. You’ve been warned.

-Speaking of drinks...

Another one of the best parts of these cons are the after parties that go on at the hotel well into the wee hours of the morning.  Almost all of the suites surrounding the pool were converted into themed hospitality rooms.  Each surviving up drink and fun for all who attended the con.  And those that weren't actually converted to hospitality suites, were on occasion taken over by con goers anyway regardless of that fact (which is exactly what happened to Zach and Taki's room, which quickly became an open invitation party for anyone who happened to walk by).

BTW, did I mention that you should never let Taki mix your drinks for you?

-Low-light of the con: Having some moron smack his door into my car, and leaving a nice size scratch in my paint job. For once though, I was actually in the car at the time, so I got to have front row seats at watching as someone totally not giving a shit that they just damaged someone else’s property.

Seriously, I’m not a big motor head, and I don’t love my car in the creepy way that some folks do, but come on! I haven’t even had this car for a year and a half and it’s had 5 car doors smack into it, been keyed once, and had someone crash into! Granted maybe removing the big "please beat the shit out of me!" sign from the hood might help me out here…

-Shout outs: It was nice to see so many people from Winnipeg out in Fargo this weekend. It was good to meet you Lillian and Jamie, and I’m sure our paths will cross again at another con in the future.

I’d also like to thank Steve (who talks in his sleep non-stop), and Travis (who I’d say snores like a damn banshee, but that would be insulting to all the banshees out there) who were the driving force behind making this trip the amazing slice of fun that it was.

Oh, and if you ever need a navigator for a trip somewhere, let me take this opportunity to recommend Travis. Don’t get me wrong, he won’t actually help with any directions, or get you to where you need to go any better than if he wasn’t in the car, but at least you’ll have someone there to point out how fast you’re going ("uh, you’re going 80 in a 75 you know there speedy McGee") and when your about to approach a red light ("yeah, see, there is a light coming up in about forty blocks. You wanna start slowing down for that now?").

And one final shout out to the folks at both ends of the border crossing who didn’t feel the need to "inconvenience" us on the way to and from the con.

Well that’s all she wrote for the Valley Con report folks. Till next time!

Later,

-Ed

PS: To all the organizers, guests, volunteers, hotel staff, and con goers, thanks for making Valley Con the blast that it was.  I hope to see y'all next year.  Except for the bastard who dinged my car.  You can keep your ass at home!